Not all sets of parents share an identical parenting style in regards to their offspring. In some pairs, one parent is more thoughtful, one is more caring, one is more present than the other... and in some pairs, one parent is the voice of authority and the other is a lot more doting and easy-going. It's practically a rule of thumb that children require a healthy balance of stern authority and doting attention from their caregivers, but when this trope is in effect, either parent leans a little more towards opposite ends of the balance.
Note that while a Stern Parent can be portrayed as being too hard on the child and the Doting Parent as being healthier, this is not a universal rule. The inverse can occur when the Stern Parent provides a healthy amount of discipline and guidance whereas the Doting Parent is smothering or spoils the child too much. An unsuccessful Stern Parent can breed Hates Their Parent, and either parent can breed a Daddy's Girl, Momma's Boy or "Well Done, Son" Guy.
Sometimes, it can be because the parents are deliberately playing Good Cop/Bad Cop in terms of parenting. This trope might be a result of Opposites Attract. The trope can also lead to tension within the family: either between the child and one parent (often the Stern Parent), or between the two parents.
When either the Stern Parent or the Doting Parent is taken to their logical extreme, the trope can end up overlapping with Tough Love, Fantasy-Forbidding Father (Stern Parent); My Beloved Smother, Disneyland Dad (Doting Parent), and Abusive Parents. Extreme cases of this trope where the Stern Parent is abusive can overlap with Loving Parent, Cruel Parent. The Doting Parent is not to be confused with the Doting Parent trope, although there can be overlap.
A Sub-Trope of Gentle Touch vs. Firm Hand. Oftentimes overlaps with Parents as People. Can also be used to show Motherhood Is Superior.
Note: This trope is for In-Universe examples only, and No Real Life Examples, Please!
Examples:
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Anime & Manga
- Fairy Tail: Layla is shown through flashbacks to have been an extremely loving and easy-going parent to her daughter Lucy, fulling willing to talk to and support her daughter's dreams, such as being a Celestial Spirit Wizard and simply wishing Lucy a happy life. It's implied that Jude wasn't always a stern father towards Lucy, but by the time of the Phantom Lord arc, he's become a Fantasy-Forbidding Father, to the point Jude admits he was willing to use his influence to forcibly have the Fairy Tail guild disbanded and crush Lucy's dreams just so he could force her to comply with the Arranged Marriage scheme that he had planned for her. Jude himself later realizes that he was too hard on Lucy and deeply regrets it.
- Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha StrikerS: Of Vivio's two mothers, Nanoha is the strict parent, while Fate is the doting one. Nanoha wants her daughter to be able to stand on her own two feet and challenges her to grow ever stronger. Fate, on the other hands, doesn't want her daughter to suffer the same pain that she herself went through under Precia's thumb when she was younger.
- Spy X Family: In Chapter 62, a flashback to Twilight's childhood right around the war's start shows that his father was a strict man while his mother was much more doting. Twilight's father tried to dissuade him by calling him a coward who doesn't know how to fight, and when Twilight said he needed to enlist in order to kill "monsters from the east", his father slapped him and angrily yelled at him for parroting pro-war propaganda. After he locks himself in his room, Twilight listens to his parents arguing, with his mother telling her husband he went too far, and him responding it's the only way their son will understand.
Fan Works
- Kedabory's Elmore Chronicles (The Amazing World of Gumball): Sophie's father Boris is a Fantasy-Forbidding Father to the extreme, hardly letting her explore her own interests without punishing her for it. Her mother Blossom isn't seen as much, but does seem to have Sophie's best interests at heart and will stand up to her husband for her sake. Ultimately, however, it's Sophie's non-binary piblingnote Sybil that is shown to be the most positive role model in her life, nurturing her hobbies and eccentric personality.
- Owl's Hell That Ends Well (Helluva Boss): Stella was the Stern Parent to Stolas' Doting Parent towards Octavia. Stolas as per canon was a doting father; Stella meanwhile tried to be a good mother, but given how horrendous Stella's own parents were and a lack of positive role models to draw from, she came across as stiff, aloof and wary of physical contact even in a young Octavia's eyes, and what life lessons she tried to impart on Octavia in direct interactions were often very cynical, if important given where they live.
- Pokémpanions: Growing Apart (Pokémon): Calvin is a Dirty Cop who spoiled his son Carnivine and let him get away with anything. His mother Cassie tries to steer her son in the right direction, but Calvin always overrides her attempts to discipline Carnivine. As a result, she's deeply afraid of how Carnivine's future will turn out and she drinks to ease the pain.
Film – Animation
- Brave: Merida's parents, particularly during the main time frame. Her father King Fergus is largely easy-going and laid-back towards her, while her mother Queen Elinor is strict and authoritative towards her because of her upcoming betrothal and her rebelliousness to the idea. The resulting rift between Merida and Elinor is what kicks off the movie's conflict.
- Tarzan: Tarzan's adopted ape parents Kala and Kerchak. Kala tends and cares for Tarzan while Kerchak thinks Tarzan is a threat and refuses to do anything with him. Kerchak ends up changing his mind with his last breaths, realizing that Tarzan was always one of his clan and asks him to watch over them when he dies.
Film — Live-Action
- Lady Bird: Lady Bird's mother, Marion, is very hard on her; regarding Lady Bird (not inaccurately) as spoiled and immature, particularly given that she's oblivious to her father's mental health and money struggles. Lady Bird's father, Larry, is very sweet and indulgent to her, going behind Marion's back to fill out Lady Bird's college applications to schools which Marion doesn't think she should attend.
Literature
- Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Frank frequently forces his older sons Rodrick and Greg to do things they hate, and refuses to let Greg get a Barbie Dreamhouse because he Wanted a Gender-Conforming Child, while Susan's more open-minded and lets her kids follow their dreams. Subverted, however, as Susan has become noticeably more demanding as the series has gone on.
- Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: In a dark and negative sense, Barty Crouch Jr.'s parents became this once he was found out to be a Death Eater in the backstory. Barty's father, Barty Crouch Sr., was mostly absent from his life before this point, but once he found out that his son was a Death Eater who'd taken part in one of the most infamous crimes in Wizarding Britain's recent history, he didn't show Jr. any mercy for being his son and he gave him the same life sentence in Azkaban as his fellow Death Eaters. Crouch Jr.'s mother on the other hand was so devastated that she had Crouch Jr. smuggled out of prison and traded places with him during her dying days, after persuading Crouch Sr. to help. Unfortunately, Mrs. Crouch's last gift to her beloved son triggered a cascade of negative events due to his evil nature, wherein he murdered his father, secured Lord Voldemort's return which led to untold death and suffering, and himself suffered a Fate Worse than Death.
- Kerstin Och Jag by Astrid Lindgren: The eponymous twins' father is the softer-hearted parent while their mother is the stricter one. Barbru, the one narrating, recalls how she and her sister knew the difference even in their early childhood: when they were playing outdoors and their nanny told them to go home, they always asked from whom the order came, and knew that if it came from their father, they could easily play for a bit longer.
- Little House on the Prairie: In this autobiographical novel, the Ingalls sisters' mother is a Supreme Chef and generally has a sweet disposition, while the father is the authoritarian who doles out punishments to them when they misbehave by the time period's standards.
- The Road Goes Into The Distance: In this autobiographical novel by Alexandra Brushtein, the author describes her parents as a case of the trope. Her father is a firm adherent of tough love principles, while her mother is more doting. In Alexandra's early years, she was raised more in line with how her father wanted, while her little brother is coddled and spoiled by their mother. However, Alexandra has a much closer bond with her father.
- Things We Have In Common: This starts off being the situation for Yasmin. Her stepfather, Gary, is unsympathetic and bad-tempered, while her mother, Jen, is permissive and doesn't set consistent boundaries (for example, insisting Yasmin has to lose weight, and then buying her chocolate to cheer her up). Both sides are portrayed as having points: Gary is a Jerkass, but he's right that Jen is inconsistent and passive as a result of grief over the death of Yasmin's father.
Live-Action TV
- The Gilded Age: George and Bertha Russell have this dynamic, but only with their daughter Gladys. George is indulgent of her and promises her that he will let her choose her own husband, while Bertha is very stern and controlling as she wants Gladys to marry someone of high society that will allow the Russells to be accepted by old money New Yorkers.
- Supernatural: Dean perceives his and Sam's parents, including their mother who died in infancy, in such a light. Dean only remembers their mother Mary as the woman who lovingly spoiled him at breakfast when he was a toddler. Dean and Sam's father John, though he always loved them to the end, was a very dysfunctional dad after Mary was murdered and John chose to raise the boys in the harsh life of hunters while he sought revenge: he placed constant expectations on a preteen Dean to look after Sam while John was away for days on monster hunts, and he got into a lot of arguments with Sam due to the latter's rebelliousness as he grew older.
- Ted Lasso:
- Jamie's parents split up when he was a baby. While his mother Georgie raised him, got him into soccer/football, and just wants him to be happy, James Tartt Sr., an alcoholic, only started showing up for Jamie when he started doing well, bullying him if he wasn't aggressive enough on the pitch. This is said to be the reason Jamie is such an arrogant jerk in his first appearances, though Jamie also goes out of his way to spite the old man when he can and realizes he ought to be playing more to make his mother and himself proud than to pay his father any mind. In James Tartt's final appearance, he's shown quietly cheering on Jamie in rehab, and in flash-forwards is shown interacting with Jamie, seemingly on better terms.
- While Nate's mother is doting and more expressive of her affection, his father tends to be disapproving and closed off even as Nate constantly seeks his approval. Nate eventually learns his father is more of a Jerk with a Heart of Gold who wanted the best for Nate and thought tough love would make him successful, but apologizes for this after seeing Nate's despair after quitting Manchester. The two are on better terms by the series' end.
Theatre
- The Snow Maiden: Frost is the Snow Maiden's stern and strict father who doesn't want her to venture into the human world and doesn't want her to fall in love (with good reason, since the Sun has threatened to destroy the Snow Maiden should she be able to feel sexual love). Spring Beauty is the doting mother who showers her daughter with gifts and encourages her to explore the human world. The Snow Maiden is destroyed by the Sun after falling in love, but feels it has been worth it, so it's up to the audience to decide which parent was right.
- The Sound of Music: Maria and Captain Von Trapp have this dynamic at first, as Capt. Von Trapp leans heavily on his naval background in raising his children while Maria is warm and loving, and with her influence, the Captain eventually grows more emotionally-open with his family again. According to the real-life Maria, this dynamic was the opposite between them, with Maria being the disciplinarian and the Captain being kinder and gentler with the children.
Video Games
- Final Fantasy XIV:
- Alphinaud's and Alisaie's mother, Ameliance, is depicted as nothing but caring and motherly to the her children. She ushers them into their home when they visit while beaming with pride at the people they've become. By contrast, the twins' father, Fourchenault, is a stuffy Obstructive Bureaucrat with an ego as towering as his intelligence. He will very rarely admit he's wrong and publicly disowns them when they criticize Sharlayan's decision to refuse to interfere in global affairs even with a global apocalypse at stake. Despite this, he still loves them, but his duties to the Forum namely, having an evacuation plan ready in the event of the Final Days, his fears of losing them like his father, and his frustration with their alleged impertinence strains his relationship with them.
- Erichthonios describes his mother Athena as a warm, loving person he could always count on. This is in stark contrast to his father, Lahabrea, who is stern and berates him constantly for being an Inept Mage. The end of the raid series subverts this, as Lahabrea, for all his faults, loves his son and is a full-on Papa Wolf when Erichthonios is kidnapped. Athena had him Raised as a Host as part of her Godhood Seeker plans while purposefully stunting Erichthonios' potential to make him more reliant on her. Lahabrea hid the Awful Truth about Athena for Erichthonios' happiness.
Web Animation
- MoniRobo: Competence-wise, Riona and her husband
have contrasting attitudes towards their children's eating habits; Riona is a responsible woman who makes sure that her children Yukari and Satoshi eat healthy, while her husband lets their children eat whatever they want. Riona's husband and Satoshi, who took more after his father, later leave the family for another woman who lets them eat whatever they want, which comes back to bite them years later as both Satoshi and his father have become obese and suffer from health problems due to their unhealthy eating habits.
- Revenge Films: Like the example mentioned above, The OP and her husband have contrasting attitudes towards their daughters' eating habits. The OP tried to make sure Ali and Katy ate healthy since the former was fat from eating junk food, but her husband let Ali eat whatever she wanted. Eventually, the OP's husband left her for a fat woman who shared his attitude and took custody of Ali. This comes back to bite the father-daughter duo years later as the cheating bastard's new wife and her parents die of high blood pressure while he ends up struck with diabetes, and Ali gets bullied into insanity at school for being fat.
Web Videos
- SuperMarioLogan: Jeffy is a hellion who causes chaos with his Lethally Stupid nature. His adoptive father Mario/Marvin tries to reel him in and actually makes an effort to do something about Jeffy's misbehavior. On the other hand, his adoptive mother Rosalina/Rose always defends him no matter how awful he's been and even accuses Mario/Marvin of mistreating Jeffy whenever his patience is wearing thin.
Western Animation
- American Dad!: Discussed in "Son of Stan", where Stan is the Stern Parent to Franchise's Doting Parent in regards to Steve – this causes tension between Stan and Francine, so Stan creates a perfect clone of Steve so that he and Francine can raise either Steve on their own terms, and see which Steve comes out the better for it. Francine gives the original Steve everything he wants or demands without holding back, which gradually turns Steve into a fat, pasty, unhygienic slob who treats Francine like dirt. Meanwhile, Stan constantly trains the clone, Steve-arino, in an extremely rigid and militant manner, which ends up turning Steve-arino into an Ax-Crazy, cat-torturing sociopath. At the episode's end, Stan and Francine concede that the original Steve needs an even mix of both their parenting styles to balance him out, and Francine wastes no time in fiercely correcting the original Steve's spoiled behaviour while Stan intends to ease up on him.
- Avatar: The Last Airbender: Subverted with Azula's parents, Fire Lord Ozai and Ursa. On the surface, Azula appeared to be Daddy's Little Villain who Ozai was proud of and constantly favored over her brother Zuko, while Ursa appeared to be the stern parent who regularly disciplined Azula's troubling unchildlike behaviour, and Azula in turn believes that her otherwise kind mother saw her as nothing but an enfant terrible. In truth, however, Ozai relentlessly subjected Azula to an insidious form of psychological abuse throughout her life, making her into an extreme perfectionist who's constantly fighting tooth and claw to retain his approval, which ultimately wrecks her; whereas Ursa honestly loved Azula unconditionally and wanted to help her, but Azula couldn't see it.
- Ducktales 2017: An Strict Uncle and Doting Parent variation. Donald Duck is generally rather stern to his nephews Huey, Dewey and Louie, being over-protective of them and trying to stop them from engaging in especially dangerous adventures, but never sees them as being unable to take care of themselves. Midway through season two, the triplets' mother, Della Duck, returns from the moon, where she crashed prior to their hatching. She at first tries to be a doting mother; however, between her inexperience with raising children causing them to get sick, and the fact that she's getting used to adventuring and Earth gravity after over a decade off-planet, she's forced her to have Character Development in order to become a more responsible mother. This culminates in her grounding Louie from adventuring in "Timephoon!", after his get-rich-quick Time Travel for Fun and Profit scheme nearly causes the end of the world.
